the painful knots of missing him twisted within me while i sat, staring out at the glimmering orange citylights from the window seat of the airplane. i convinced myself that he was standing on the balcony of his hotel room, having a cigerette inbetween his lips, watching the red blinking speck ascend into the dark skies, and missing me, too. i tried to close my eyes to sleep it off but it was then that i realized that his voice has seeped it's way into my brain, from which it wafts up like the teasing scent of an expensive perfume.

is he missing me as much as i'm missing him? i have unexpectedly fallen in undeniable love with him and it's as intense and as fierce as any love should be, but more.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4, 2017

last night my hand reached for you in dark and was met with cold sheets. i must avoid having the empty feeling resonate with me while vacationing through the mountains with my favorite girl.